Changing Your Story: The Great Lie

Your story is who you are, where you are going and where your focus rests. There are two ways to change your story: you can lie about your story or you can do the work to change it. Today I’m thinking about about the lie, The Great Lie. The lie that says, “I’m okay,” when you are anything but okay.

The Great Lie. There are different depths and levels to lying about your story. How deep you are all depends on who you are lying to and how big a lie you are telling.

You can put up a false front and lie to The World. You can put up a front and pretend that All is right with you — all is right in your world, you love who you are and where you are and where you are going. But it’s all just that, a lie. But that’s okay, right? I mean, whose business is it, anyway? Why cause a stir? Why cause controversy? Why give them something to talk about? Who needs to know anyway? It’s not like anyone really cares. Right?

And then there’s lying to your family and friends, the people that truly love you and want to be there for you when you need help. You damage these people when you lie to them, you change who they are when you lie to them. The World doesn’t really care. The World doesn’t get their feelings hurt when the truth of your pain is discovered. The World is covered and consumed by pain. What’s one more painful lie to The World? But when you lie to your family and friends you hurt them. You isolate yourself from them, they cannot love you, they cannot help you. They don’t know, how can they know? You’re smiling. You’re fine. Everything is fine. Right?

But you hit rock bottom when you can lie, convincingly, to yourself. This is rock bottom because there is no help here, none. No one can help you because no one knows. Not even you. Oh sure, God knows, but you’re not speaking to God anymore. Right?

Please forgive me for I’m thinking out loud today. As travelers on a journey that we don’t always need to make sense, do we? We don’t always have to know where we are going. Maybe sometimes just being awake and aware and thinking is just enough for one day. Just enough.

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~ by Kimberly Mason on March 15, 2010.

5 Responses to “Changing Your Story: The Great Lie”

  1. I usually am brutally honest with myself – but I rarely respect myself enough to DO anything about whatever the problem is. It’s really all about self-love, isn’t it? If we don’t think we’re worth the trouble, then how in the world can we think that God cares, much less that God can actually help with the problem. Sigh.

  2. What is really difficult is when you DON’T lie to your family, tell them the honest truth about how you feel or are coping or whatever and they don’t respond. Or maybe they just don’t know how to respond. Good grief! An ephipany!!

  3. What’s awkward about all this is that sometimes you don’t even KNOW you are lying to yourself cuz you get so out of touch with the part of you that hurts; you wall it off… but usually that’s because, for that period at least, something in you thinks it HAS to wall that off to survive.

    The trick is to sit down with your inner protector and convince her that you actually ARE strong enough to deal with whatever she’s protecting you from. Honor her efforts, tell her you’ll let her know when you need her, and then also let her know when you need her to step aside so you can acknowledge and comfort your own wounded self…

  4. I have started to be honest with a few people about a few deep things. How did I get so secretive and so “walled-off” as Suzan says? I can’t imagine. Thank you for your own honesty here.

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