Making our words count…

Wordle is a website you can use to analyze the words you have been using in your blog (or any document) and creates a picture of words that gives greater prominence to those words you use the most. I am rather proud of this word cloud. I am not proud of the word cloud created from my quilting blog.

This word cloud looks like the normal words of a seeker, a lover of God, of words and of life. The other cloud — and I don’t think it is probably a coincidence that I chose one cloud to appear white and the other surrounded by darkness, do you? — the other cloud appears self-centered, self-serving and just silly.

But let’s not forget, it isn’t just our words that we have to watch, it’s the way we use them. You can roll your eyes and turn your head with hand on hip and say, “Your smile is SO pretty,” but we all know that a different meaning is conveyed than the words alone imply.

As I stand to pray and praise or kneel to confess in church, do you think that God takes all that into consideration? Aren’t our actions and intentions just as important as our words? I know they are, I just have to remind myself every once in a while. When we use this medium — the written word over blog or email — we don’t have the opportunity to give emphasis to the emotions underlying our words with the language of our bodies.

This is my concentration for the week, my area of study. Bringing full awareness to what I am communicating…not only with my mouth, but in my life. The Book of Common Prayer General Thanksgiving says it so much better…

“…And, we pray, give us such an awareness of your mercies, that with truly thankful hearts we may show forth your praise, not only with our lips, but in our lives, by giving up our selves to your service, and by walking before you in holiness and righteousness all our days…”

Blessed are you among women…

There is a Lutheran Angel named Dorothy, I have mentioned her before. She is truly a blessing to me. She brings me the quarterly devotional and now, for the second year, she has given me a Calendar of Word and Season.

The image you see here is for the month of December. The featured artist for this year’s calendar is He Qi. Dorothy had no idea when she brought this calendar to me just how very excited I would be. I adore this man’s art, He Qi enjoys the patronage of our own Archbishop of Canterbury, so I am in good company.

I could not explain to you how this man’s art seems to speak directly to my heart. So beautiful. I have wanted to own one of his scenes so badly and could not afford it, but now I have a full baker’s dozen of images. Thank you, Dorothy!

Are you eating enough?

What really feeds you? Are you eating enough?

In just six days we will all be sitting down to our Thanksgiving dinner and “Are you eating enough?” probably won’t be the question we will ask ourselves or each other. We will all be wondering if we have eaten too much, have we been too greedy, have we added to our misery rather than increased our pleasure through over consumption of the delights of this annual festive meal.

But today, today are you feeling fed?

[LAUGHTER CAME FROM EVERY BRICK]

Just these two words He spoke
changed my life.

“Enjoy Me.”

What a burden I thought I was to carry—
a crucifix, as did He.

Love once said to me, “I know a song,
would you like to hear it?”

And laughter came from every brick in the street
and from every pore
in the sky.

After a night of prayer, He
changed my life when
He sang.

“Enjoy Me.”

-St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)

I have been pondering a trio of questions* that I came across the other day, I think that I would like to ask you these same questions. Don’t answer me, just answer yourself—and keep asking yourself, you might be surprised how the answers change over time:

• If we knew we were going to live tomorrow and for a long time thereafter, if we believed we were eternal beings by nature, what would we do?
• Who would we follow?
• Around what narrative would we organize the various aspects of our life?

 

*”Christianity Beyond Belief” by Todd D. Hunter

What have you done for me lately…

When you read the headline “What have you done for me lately?” whose voice are you hearing? Your own? The voice of God? Your children? Your husband? The church? Or is it just a line from a song and you merrily followed up with “…oo-ooo-oo ooo oo-oo-ooo”?

What kind of emotion runs through your heart when you read those words? Guilt? Abandonment? Anger? Sorrow? Or is it just a sweet thought of remembrance for Janet Jackson and her sweet moves on the stage during her peak years as a pop icon?

For your sake, I hope it’s the latter. For God’s sake, I hope that the phrase is just a simple reminder that we are to keep moving, to keep striving, to keep working towards caring for ourselves, for those we love and for the others in this world that need us.

Advanced age, infirmity, poverty, lack of education—if you suffer from any one or more of these it does not excuse you from serving others. There is always something you can do—that you must be doing—to serve others.

And if you have none of the above for an excuse, if you busy yourself with blog reading (yes, I’m going to go there), Facebook lurking, television watching or even just sitting around feeling lonely in a world filled with people and possiblities, if you are whining and moaning about the fact that your skin isn’t as smooth as it once was, your body doesn’t work like it once did, you don’t have a new car, a big enough home and ate hamburger for dinner instead of steak, or your husband didn’t tell you he loved you in just the right way at just the right time and you want life to read like a historical romance even though you look more like Phyllis Diller than Beyonce, well, then, GET OVER YOURSELF!

There’s work to be done. And we don’t have time for you do worry the things you have done and have left undone, take care of that in confession and move on. You need to get up and get moving and DO something (use it or lose it, sister!).

Are you called to pray? Pray! Are you called to comfort? Comfort! Are you called to love? Love! Are you called to labor? Labor! What calls you? What calls you to move from one minute through to the next, reaching through joy and deliverance and into salvation? And the salvation that I’m talking about is the salvation that you can experience right here, right now in THIS world.

Heaven starts here. Heaven is now. And it starts with you loving God and with you loving your neighbor as yourself AND yourself. What have you done for me lately? What are you going to do for you?

There is danger…

Collect for this week (Proper 28): Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

At morning prayer today, while reading the New Testament text for today, Revelation 21:1-8, I was reminded of my former mother-in-law. She was a Jehovah’s Witness at the time and we had regular weekly studies together. We had a deal. I let her take a turn teaching me her ways and then she let me take a turn at teaching her my ways. Both of us working hard to convert the other to our own ways of doing things. Both of us desperate to change the other, to save the other, out of love for each other.

If you had asked me then, did I think my MIL was going to heaven? Was she saved? Did she love God and did God love her back? My answer would have been “Absolutely!” and I would not have hesitated. I knew her, I knew her deep love and desire to serve God. I knew her deep love of her fellow man and her desire to serve mankind.

And if you had asked me if her friends in the Kingdom Hall were going to church too? I wouldn’t have wanted to answer you. I would have been hesitant. Confused. Thrown off balance.

They (the Jehovah’s Witnesses) didn’t think like I did. They didn’t interpret Scripture in the same manner that I did. They were full of condemning words, they spoke in black and white and left no room for failure or weakness. I knew that there must be an answer for the questions, and I knew I did not think that their answers were correct. But, how could I be sure that my answers were any more correct?

Someone said once that with maturity comes the ability to remain comfortable with ambiguity. Twenty years ago I would not have been able to sit comfortably with that statement. Twenty years ago I would have told you that there is a right and a wrong and we must know what that is or we are lost.

Today…today I love to hear the words, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.” I love to hear them because I am then reminded that it is okay not to know. It is okay.

We tend to want to take the words of Christ and twist them into our own meaning, into a meaning that makes us feel comfortable. We abandon God’s meaning. We find false comfort, false salvation, false hope in those distorted words. We do not listen when the hard words fall, we close our ears to keep from being stirred into action by words that do not only NOT lend comfort, but ADD to our discomfort.

Anne Lamott said that we know we have made God into our own image when he hates all the same people we do.

Love God. Take care of his people. It’s pretty simple, really, but they are tough words. Uncomfortable words. Words that call you into action. Are you ready for that kind of action?

And how much action is required? How will I know if I’m doing enough? How will I know if I’m doing it right?

I don’t know. And I think I’m getting pretty comfortable not knowing the answer.

Our assignment for this week…

…yes, like secret agents. (Except that this message will NOT self-destruct in 10 seconds!)

Our assignment for this week is to seek to see The Child in everyone we meet.

If you look deeply, sit quietly and listen you will see The Child. This exercise is especially useful when the adult you are engaged with is an Irritating Adult because it takes extra effort to see The Child in that person without also wanting to turn them over your knee and give them a good spanking.

People have reasons for acting out, just like children do. They aren’t “just that way.” If you take a moment to listen and to see The Child within the angry adult, you may discover why they are the way they are, but more importantly you may discover your Compassion (yes, Compassion with a Christ-like capitol “C”). Once you have discovered (or is it recovered) your Compassion, all sorts of good things will follow. Your blood pressure will most certainly lower, your breathing will calm and your heart will feel softer and stronger and more bold, your mind will feel less of their stress and your own frenetic emotions will ease their struggle.

And then, and here’s the really beautiful part, and then they will capture – even without meaning to – they will capture your ease, your calm, your assurance into their own bodies. You may not see it, for they may be so good at masking their true feelings that even through your love and compassion they will be able to hold the mask in front of themselves and fool you into thinking that they have not understood your message of calm assurance. But don’t be fooled, for each time you reach out to that Angry or Irritating Adult with love and compassion and comfort, you weaken the arm that holds up the mask. You may never see the effect of your efforts, but someone will have that blessing one day. You don’t have to see the effect to know that it is there.

And what about you? Aren’t you feeling lighter, more loved and more holy? And isn’t that the whole point? You cannot control what others feel, only what you feel, and if you make even one more step towards a Christ-like state of being, then you have forged not only a path for yourself to follow, but a path for others.

I must ask you, which child are you today? The hurt child, the delighted child, the tired and cranky child, the lonely child, the rebellious child, the playful child?

I’m looking forward to looking forward

Sometimes we find friends through our work, sometimes through our family and sometimes we find our friends because they live near us. But the true friends of the heart we usually find because we are walking on the same path.

These are friends that tend to us like Gardeners of the Soul. They feed us in ways that comfort and hold our shadowed selves, that inner being that we rarely bring out in polite company for fear of offending. They coax out into the light the reality of who we are and point the way to who we can become if we only realize who we already are.

I am feeling scattered and unfocused. I can’t seem to read two sentences and retain their meaning. But I have friends that pull me back in, friends that will just sit quietly with me.

Thank you, Diane, who has brought to light and into focus my longing for the longing that is Advent. I am looking forward to looking forward.

 

I have good friends

I haven’t prayed for a month, at least not from the Book of Common Prayer (BCP), I’ve sent up missiles of prayer — quick pleas shot up like flares into sky — but I haven’t really P.R.A.Y.E.D.

This morning I decided I had kept myself from (or is it avoided? ignored?) corporate prayer long enough. I missed it and it was time to get back to the business of prayer. It’s good to have friends.

And so I readied myself for prayer. I am a person of routine and ceremony, I spread my cloth on the washing machine, set out my books, each in its own place, and I lit my candle. But when I opened the BCP to the lectionary to find the readings for today I had to stop — I didn’t have the new Portals of Prayer booklet. My friend Dorothy, my favorite Lutheran Lady of the Altar, brings me one each quarter and my first devotional words of the morning are always from that booklet. I have good friends.

I know it must be in one of my purses, so I go there. No Portal, but my wooden holding cross is there, a gift from my friend Jayne. Ahhh, I truly have good friends. I smile. “Sweet Jayne, I’ll be needing that,” I say to myself as I shove it in my pocket, my mind racing on to the next place to look for the Portal (this is starting to sound like an episode of Stargate).

Ah ha! I remember emptying out all my “important” papers onto the table (now overrun with “important” papers) in my sewing room…there it is! I race back outside to my back porch, my washing machine and my provisional altar.

There is only a few more weeks left of this liturgical year, I’m anxious to be awake and aware and ready for this coming year. When I open my Prayer Log I am only somewhat surprised to see that it really has been exactly 30 days since my last visit. I greet my Prayer Log with a fond and familiar smile and smooth its pages with my hand, petting the beautiful pages. I have missed it, and I realize that I am glad that I have missed it. It’s good to have friends, I have good friends.

I take my friends with me into prayer. I have good friends.

No, nothing more eventful than that happened. But I think to be reminded that I have good friends is enough. Don’t you?

I follow my Bishop on Twitter. He is a gentle man with a delightful sense of humor. I loved this morning’s tweet. “FREE” he proclaimed. It almost makes me want to make that drive up to Seattle…

Words for Silence

What do you say to a friend that has lost their best friend?

Are there words to fill the silence, the empty place in your heart and in your home? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever know.

To my friend who lost her friend Indie: Buddy and I are really sorry for your loss. I’m sure Indie was very grateful to have you as her caregiver and friend.

While I was doing a little cleaning up this morning I came across a quote that I had jotted down from a documentary of a Jewish family who traveled to Poland to meet the family who had saved their family during the Holocaust:

“The goal of all religion is to bring us to a level where we can see the divinity that’s all around us…I believe better no religion than a religion that doesn’t see godliness in every human being.”

And I would like to add…”and her dog.”

 

Please pray with me…

…for the life and love of my new grandson. If you are reading this, you are a member of my family, and this child, yet to be born, will rely upon you also. Carry yourself and your faith, your sense of honor and your love of all that is known to you and all that is yet to be made clear, with you to the altar of prayers and thanksgiving…